Chapter 6 - He Thought Divorce Was a Threat
Three months later, Zachary and I sat across from each other in mediation.
He looked different.
Tired.
Quieter.
His attorney slid a proposal across the table.
Evelyn read it.
Then looked at me.
“Charlotte?”
I studied the custody schedule.
Zachary spoke before I could.
“I’m not asking for fifty-fifty immediately.”
His attorney glanced at him.
Apparently, that wasn’t the planned statement.
“I want to build up to more time,” Zachary continued. “If Chloe wants it.”
I watched him carefully.
“What changed?”
He took a breath.
“Everything.”
“That isn’t an answer.”
He nodded.
“After you left, I had to do things you always did.”
“Such as?”
“Everything.”
Despite myself, I smiled faintly.
He didn’t.
“I didn’t know Chloe hated the crust on toast.”
“She doesn’t hate it.”
He blinked.
“She hates when it’s burnt.”
“Oh.”
I almost laughed.
He continued.
“I didn’t know which stuffed animal she sleeps with when she’s scared.”
“Bunny.”
“I know now.”
He looked down.
“I didn’t know her teacher’s name.”
That one hurt.
“I didn’t know she was afraid of automatic toilets. I didn’t know she likes strawberries sliced sideways because she thinks they look like hearts.”
He rubbed his hands together.
“I lived in the same house with my daughter and somehow knew less about her than I knew about Tristan’s soccer statistics.”
I said nothing.
“My therapist asked me why.”
“You’re seeing a therapist?”
“Yes.”
“Because the court suggested it?”
“No.”
That surprised me.
He looked directly at me.
“Because Tristan asked me to.”
I leaned back.
“He told me he didn’t want to become me.”
The room went silent.
Zachary swallowed.
“That hurt.”
“It probably should.”
“I know.”
He pushed the custody proposal toward me.
“I’m not asking you to come back.”
“Good.”
“I know I lost that.”
He paused.
“But I’m asking for a chance not to lose Chloe.”
I looked at Evelyn.
She gave the smallest nod.
The proposal was reasonable.
Supervised transitions at first.
No disparaging either parent around Chloe.
No involvement from Diane during initial visits.
Parenting counseling.
Gradual increases based on Chloe’s comfort.
“I’ll agree,” I said.
Zachary exhaled.
“Thank you.”
“This isn’t for you.”
“I know.”
“And if Chloe comes home believing she has to earn your love again, we go back to court.”
“I understand.”
After mediation, I found Tristan sitting in the lobby with Rebecca.
He stood when he saw me.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
He looked taller somehow.
Or maybe simply less arrogant.
Rebecca smiled.
“I’ll give you two a minute.”
She walked away.
Tristan shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Dad said you agreed.”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He stared at the floor.
“Can I ask something?”
“Sure.”
“Can I still see Chloe?”
I hadn’t expected that.
“Do you want to?”
He nodded.
“She’s my sister.”
“Yes, she is.”
“I know I was awful.”
“You were.”
He winced.
“But you’re allowed to become better than the worst thing you’ve done.”
He looked up.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
“Forgiveness isn’t a button, Tristan.”
“Oh.”
“It takes time.”
He nodded.
Then reached into his backpack.
“I got Chloe something.”
He handed me a small plastic lunch box.
It was covered in cartoon chickens.
I stared at it.
Tristan’s face went red.
“She said she wanted unlimited chicken.”
I laughed.
I couldn’t help it.
He smiled too.
“I thought it was funny.”
“It is.”
Then he became serious.
“I’m sorry, Charlotte.”
“I know.”
“No. I mean really.”
He looked at me.
“You took care of me when Mom couldn’t be there. I acted like none of it mattered.”
I studied the boy I had helped raise.
“Someday you’ll understand that caring for someone doesn’t mean they owe you love.”
His eyes watered.
“But I did love you, Tristan.”
He froze.
“I just couldn’t keep letting you hurt Chloe.”
He nodded.
“I understand.”
That evening, I gave Chloe the lunch box.
She squealed.
“Chickens!”
“Tristan bought it.”
Her expression softened.
“Can I call him?”
“Sure.”
She video-called him.
His face appeared.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes!”
“Cool.”
“Tristan?”
“What?”
“You can have chicken too.”
He laughed.
“Thanks.”
“But not mine.”
“Got it.”
I watched them.
For the first time, they sounded like siblings instead of competitors.
The divorce would become final in six weeks.
May you like
And strangely, our family was beginning to heal only after I stopped trying to keep the marriage alive.
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