Chapter 2 - Twelve Hours in the Rocking Chair
At noon, Rachel brought Wade a sandwich.
He shook his head.
“You need to eat.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’ve been sitting there for three hours.”
“So has he.”
“He weighs three pounds. You weigh…” Rachel paused.
Wade glanced at her.
“Careful.”
For the first time, she heard humor in his voice.
Rachel set the sandwich on the table.
“At least drink some water.”
He accepted the bottle without shifting the infant.
Baby Nolan slept against his chest, one tiny hand curled near the collar of Wade’s gown.
Rachel checked the oxygen tubing.
“His numbers look better.”
“He likes the chair.”
“He likes the steady contact.”
Wade looked down.
“So he knows someone’s here.”
“Yes.”
His expression darkened.
“What happens when I leave?”
“We’ll place him back in the incubator.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
Rachel understood.
She lowered her voice.
“Social services is trying to locate his mother. If she doesn’t return, the county will seek temporary custody. Eventually he may enter foster care.”
“May?”
“There are legal steps.”
“And while everyone fills out papers?”
“We take care of him.”
Wade looked around the unit.
“You keep him alive.”
“That is taking care of him.”
“No.” His voice remained quiet. “That’s keeping his heart beating. It’s not the same thing.”
Rachel stiffened.
“Our staff does everything possible for these babies.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t.”
“It sounded like it.”
Wade met her eyes.
“I’m saying there are things medicine can’t replace.”
Rachel stared at him for a long moment.
“Such as?”
“Someone who comes back.”
The answer took the anger out of her.
Wade’s phone began vibrating again.
This time the man beyond the glass doors pressed both palms to the window.
Rachel glanced over.
“He looks worried.”
“He always looks worried.”
“Who is he?”
“My brother.”
“He’s been outside for nearly two hours.”
“He can go home.”
The man seemed to understand he was being discussed. He pointed at his watch.
Wade ignored him.
Rachel sighed.
“Your brother may be afraid you’ve been kidnapped by nurses.”
“He knows better than to interrupt me.”
“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”
Wade almost smiled again.
The baby stirred.
His face tightened, and a weak cry escaped him.
Wade immediately lowered his chin.
“Easy, little bear.”
The infant continued fussing.
Wade began humming.
The sound was low and rough, as if the melody had not been used in years.
Rachel froze.
She recognized it.
“‘You Are My Sunshine’?”
Wade stopped.
“My mother used to sing it.”
“To you?”
“To my son.”
Rachel waited.
Wade did not continue.
A monitor alarm sounded across the unit, pulling her attention away.
For the next hour, she became busy assisting with another premature infant whose oxygen level had dropped. By the time the emergency passed, the afternoon shift had begun.
Wade was still in the chair.
Baby Nolan was still asleep.
A new nurse, Emily Carter, approached Rachel.
“Is that really Wade Holden?”
“Yes.”
“The Wade Holden?”
Rachel looked at her.
“How many do you think there are?”
Emily lowered her voice.
“My husband works for the sheriff’s department. He says Holden is connected to half the organized crime in the state.”
“Your husband should probably stop discussing investigations at home.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
Emily watched Wade.
“Why is he holding that baby?”
“Because he is an approved volunteer.”
“They approved him?”
“He passed the background check.”
“Then the background check is broken.”
Rachel turned toward her.
“He has been sitting there for six hours. He hasn’t raised his voice. He hasn’t broken a single rule. He has treated that child more gently than some biological parents I’ve seen.”
Emily folded her arms.
“That doesn’t mean he’s a good man.”
“No,” Rachel said. “It means he’s being good to that baby.”
Wade lifted his eyes.
Both nurses fell silent.
“I can hear you,” he said.
Emily’s face reddened.
“I’m sorry.”
Wade looked back at the infant.
“Most people say worse.”
Emily quickly walked away.
Rachel moved closer.
“You didn’t have to embarrass her.”
“She embarrassed herself.”
“She’s afraid of you.”
“So are you.”
Rachel did not deny it.
Wade’s brother returned to the glass with a hospital security officer.
The officer entered the NICU after washing his hands and putting on protective clothing.
“Mr. Holden?”
Wade looked up.
“Your brother says there’s an urgent business matter.”
“Tell him I’m busy.”
“He says it involves a shipment worth several million dollars.”
Rachel stared at Wade.
Wade did not react.
“Then he should handle it.”
“He says he can’t.”
“Tell him to learn.”
The officer glanced at the baby.
“You intend to stay here?”
“Yes.”
“For how much longer?”
Wade looked down at Baby Nolan.
“As long as I’m allowed.”
The officer left.
Rachel pulled the empty chair closer and sat beside him.
“Several million dollars?”
“People exaggerate.”
“Was he exaggerating?”
“No.”
She studied his profile.
“You’re willing to lose that much money to hold a stranger’s baby?”
Wade’s jaw moved slightly.
“Money comes back.”
“Not always.”
“No,” he said. “But children don’t.”
Rachel heard something change in his voice.
She looked again at his wrist.
The edge of the blue gown had slipped back.
This time she saw it clearly.
An old hospital identification band.
The plastic had yellowed with age. The writing was faded, but the band was still intact.
Beside it, written directly across Wade’s skin in old black ink, was a date.
October 17, 2003.
Rachel’s breath caught.
She knew the date.
She had seen it earlier that morning while reviewing the NICU’s memorial records for an upcoming remembrance ceremony.
A male infant had died in bed nine on October 17, 2003.
The same bed Baby Nolan occupied now.
Rachel stood too quickly.
Wade looked at her.
“What?”
“That bracelet.”
His face changed.
The gentleness disappeared behind a guarded expression.
“Don’t.”
“Is it yours?”
“Leave it alone.”
Rachel lowered her voice.
“Were you a patient here?”
Wade gave her a flat look.
“I was thirty years old.”
“Then whose bracelet is it?”
He did not answer.
Rachel glanced toward bed nine.
Then back at the date.
“Oh, God.”
Wade’s hand closed slightly around the edge of the baby’s blanket.
“Keep your voice down.”
“The child who died here…”
“Rachel.”
“Was he your son?”
The rocking chair stopped moving.
For several seconds, only the monitors could be heard.
Wade stared at the sleeping baby.
When he finally spoke, his voice was rough.
“His name was Samuel.”
Rachel sat down again.
“I’m sorry.”
“People always say that.”
“What else should they say?”
“Nothing.”
His thumb moved gently over Baby Nolan’s blanket.
“Nothing changes it.”
Rachel looked at the faded band.
“You’ve worn that for twenty-three years?”
“Not every day.”
“But today?”
“Every year on this date.”
She looked toward the unit clock.
October seventeenth.
Her chest tightened.
“You came here because this is the anniversary.”
Wade nodded once.
“Samuel was born at twenty-eight weeks. His lungs weren’t developed enough.”
“Was his mother with you?”
Wade’s eyes hardened.
“My wife, Clara. She died six months later.”
Rachel went still.
“What happened?”
“She stopped sleeping. Stopped eating. Stopped talking to me.” He paused. “One morning, I woke up and she was gone.”
Rachel did not ask what he meant.
She could see the answer in his face.
Wade continued before she could speak.
“I was sitting in this same unit when Samuel died. Different paint. Older machines. Same lights.”
“And the same bed.”
“Yes.”
Rachel looked toward Baby Nolan.
“Did you know he was in bed nine before you arrived?”
“No.”
His answer came immediately.
“When I heard him crying, I knew.”
“Knew what?”
“That I wasn’t leaving.”
Rachel looked at the clock again.
He had been holding the baby for almost nine hours.
“You called him little bear.”
Wade’s eyes remained on the infant.
“That’s what I called Samuel.”
Rachel covered her mouth for a moment.
Across the unit, Emily noticed and came closer.
“Rachel? Are you okay?”
Rachel looked at Wade.
He gave the smallest shake of his head.
The story was not his to share.
“I’m fine,” she told Emily. “Just tired.”
Emily checked Baby Nolan’s monitor.
“He’s doing remarkably well.”
Wade resumed rocking.
“Because he isn’t alone.”
Three hours later, the night shift arrived.
Wade was still there.
Twelve hours had passed since Rachel first placed Baby Nolan against his chest.
His brother had gone.
The sandwich remained untouched.
The water bottle was nearly full.
Wade’s shoulders had stiffened, but he never complained.
Rachel approached with a fresh blanket.
“We need to move him back to the incubator soon.”
Wade nodded, though disappointment crossed his face.
“I understand.”
She carefully lifted the old blanket.
As she did, his sleeve slipped farther up his arm.
The faded hospital band became fully visible.
So did another tattoo beneath it.
A tiny pair of footprints.
Under them were the words:
SAMUEL HOLDEN
ONE DAY WAS ENOUGH TO LOVE YOU FOREVER
Emily stopped beside Rachel.
Dr. Hale entered at the same moment.
Both saw it.
Neither spoke.
Wade noticed where they were looking.
For once, the feared man did not hide his wrist.
Dr. Hale stepped closer.
“Samuel Holden,” he said quietly. “I’ve seen that name in our records.”
Wade’s eyes narrowed.
“You read old records?”
“I oversee the remembrance program.”
Dr. Hale glanced toward bed nine.
“He died here.”
“Yes.”
“And today is the anniversary.”
Wade nodded.
Emily’s eyes filled with tears.
“You’ve been holding this baby all day because of your son?”
Wade looked at her.
“No.”
She blinked.
“No?”
“I came because of my son.” He lowered his gaze to Baby Nolan. “I stayed because of him.”
The unit became silent.
Then the glass doors opened.
A social worker hurried inside, followed by a security officer.
Rachel recognized her immediately.
“Dana? What happened?”
Dana Brooks held a folder against her chest.
“We located Shelby Nolan.”
Wade’s body went still.
Rachel stepped forward.
“Is she coming back?”
Dana looked toward Baby Nolan.
“She’s downstairs.”
“Then bring her up.”
Dana’s expression remained tense.
“There’s a problem.”
Wade lifted his head.
“What kind of problem?”
Dana hesitated before answering.
“She says she didn’t abandon her baby.”
Rachel frowned.
“She left without completing the paperwork.”
“I know.”
“Then what is she saying?”
Dana tightened her grip on the folder.
“She says someone threatened to kill him if she stayed.”
Wade stopped rocking.
Every trace of softness vanished from his face.
“Who threatened her?”
Dana looked directly at him.
“That’s why security is here.”
The monitor beside Baby Nolan began beeping faster.
Wade held the infant securely against his chest.
His voice dropped into something cold enough to silence the entire room.
“Bring the mother upstairs.”
Dana did not move.
May you like
Wade’s eyes locked onto hers.
“Now.”
